I've volunteered to make "someone" at APS, my employer, my health care proxy. I did so in an email to some of the "top brass". The proposal is now in their hands.
I'm not equipped to make good health care decisions for myself anymore. And Rachel is working herself past the point of exhaustion... She needs help. She's not a bystander in any of this. Humans have limits, whether they want to acknowledge them or not. Feelings of guilt and shame are illusory motivators. Asking for help is not an admission of failure or a sign of weakness.
There do not exist people on this planet more qualified and capable to help my family through this ordeal. It's not just me who's facing a crisis, after all.
I'm in a constant state of seizure now. Not looking like it's going to improve anytime soon. 😢
I've been talking to and "comparing notes" with some friends from all walks of life. I realize I said I'd stop guessing and trying to diagnose myself, but my mind has other plans for me. This is my entire life. And, believe it or not, I actually am equipped to perform diagnostic tests on myself--thanks to the neurological benefits of regular meditation, introspection, and reflection. ... From an objective standpoint, I'm exhibiting symptoms of rapid descent into multiple sclerosis (MS).
My body, my mind, and my home are all falling apart at the seams and I feel powerless to do anything about any of it.
I feel like my intellect is the only thing left that I have going for me and for my family.
Strangely, it feels like that aspect is improving to compensate.
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